Another Dose of Enlightenment....

Well, I have officially been living in Scotland for 3 months now. I leave on Tuesday for London, then Paris, then back to London, then hopefully (please please please please) to Venice. If that doesn't work out, Sarah, I'm coming to Prague and then on to Moscow.

Also, I have cleaned my last Scottish toilet today! I have hung up my housekeeping dress. (I will spare you any more of those observations about how the rich of Britain can not seem to have bowel movements in the toilet, but on every piece of linen I have to wash.) Only 5 more shifts to go!

Anyhoo...
...here's some more brain candy...

- 1. Childhood memories are the means to bring around world peace - here Danger Mouse is the bond that brings us together. Come on! If Penfold, DM, Baron Von Greenback, and the occasional Banana Man skit doesn't bring us together, who will? Ok, maybe Super Grover and Guy Smiley, but those are my last hopes.

- 2. The residents of the UK are addicted to soap operas and campy gay men. If you follow either of those ideas, you will have a hit show. Ok, that or reality TV in ANY FORM. Believe me, I have got sucked into watching a show called the Salon. Yes, they film the daily ins and outs of a beauty salon, and I watch it. (remember those years when I stopped watching tv? I did it because I know I have a weakness for this crap!)

- 3. I have tried and failed to understand cricket, and I admit I am a lesser person for it.

- 4. Kiwis are the most patriotic people I have met. Don't insult them, their country, or their black and orange socks. They will try to bite. Worse yet, they jimmy open your door at night and "body slam" you. Don't say I didn't warn you.

- 5. I thought I feared crazed soccer fans, until I met rugby fans. Don't insult their team. I was kidding with an Irish guy I met earlier this year (a fan of the Irish Munster Rugby Team) that "I really admire Munster for it's brazen individuality, mainly in reference to its orange rind." He didn't find it a funny joke and I was purchased a plethora of Munster paraphernalia and forced to watch multiple games after that. They aren't violent, they are passive aggressive, and that is even worse.

- 6. I know this is hackneyed, but the Scots have a huge phobia of dentists, dental hygienists, and toothbrushes (tho toothpaste is in every bathroom). My god! These people have no teeth! And Caitlin, I hate to tell you this, but NONE of them speak like Sean Connery. Whoever stereotyped the Scottish accents as sexy was VERY VERY mistaken. Sean and Ewan are genetic freaks. Also, they don't say "lassie" to describe a female, its "wifey." Sweet.

- 7. Dirty jokes are the quickest way to bring a room together. It is insane how everyone has something to contribute once the first dirty or vulgar joke is told.

- 8. Tom Jones is the Welsh National treasure.

- 9. I hate to admit this, but I love haggis.

- 10. Puff, puff, give is not internationally recognized.

- 11. Marmite, Vegimite, and Bovril. Learn them, you will have to choose. Wars will be fought over these yeasty treats someday. You think I'm joking, just ask get an Aussie, a Zimbabwean, and a South African in a room and ask that question. (hmmm... I gave them all a fair shot last night... I have gotten to the point where I can open the jar without gagging.)

- 12. The rest of the world has missed out on some of the most important elements of our culture: The Kids in The Hall (ok, I know that isn't ours to claim), old SNL, Iron Chef (hey, we dubbed it), Space Ghost, old Conan O'Brien (I will marry Andy Richter), The Dark Crystal, The Last Unicorn, Orgazmo, So I Married An Axe Murderer, and so much more! No wonder they all hate us so much! No one has yet explained our insanity to them. Don't worry, Michael Moore and I have begun to break em in. I have the Scots singing Brak's "Don't Touch Me."

Ok, must continue packing...

Over and out...

Another Dose of Enlightenment....

Well, I have officially been living in Scotland for 3 months now. I leave on Tuesday for London, then Paris, then back to London, then hopefully (please please please please) to Venice. If that doesn't work out, Sarah, I'm coming to Prague and then on to Moscow.

Also, I have cleaned my last Scottish toilet today! I have hung up my housekeeping dress. (I will spare you any more of those observations about how the rich of Britain can not seem to have bowel movements in the toilet, but on every piece of linen I have to wash.) Only 5 more shifts to go!

Anyhoo...
...here's some more brain candy...

- 1. Childhood memories are the means to bring around world peace - here Danger Mouse is the bond that brings us together. Come on! If Penfold, DM, Baron Von Greenback, and the occasional Banana Man skit doesn't bring us together, who will? Ok, maybe Super Grover and Guy Smiley, but those are my last hopes.

- 2. The residents of the UK are addicted to soap operas and campy gay men. If you follow either of those ideas, you will have a hit show. Ok, that or reality TV in ANY FORM. Believe me, I have got sucked into watching a show called the Salon. Yes, they film the daily ins and outs of a beauty salon, and I watch it. (remember those years when I stopped watching tv? I did it because I know I have a weakness for this crap!)

- 3. I have tried and failed to understand cricket, and I admit I am a lesser person for it.

- 4. Kiwis are the most patriotic people I have met. Don't insult them, their country, or their black and orange socks. They will try to bite. Worse yet, they jimmy open your door at night and "body slam" you. Don't say I didn't warn you.

- 5. I thought I feared crazed soccer fans, until I met rugby fans. Don't insult their team. I was kidding with an Irish guy I met earlier this year (a fan of the Irish Munster Rugby Team) that "I really admire Munster for it's brazen individuality, mainly in reference to its orange rind." He didn't find it a funny joke and I was purchased a plethora of Munster paraphernalia and forced to watch multiple games after that. They aren't violent, they are passive aggressive, and that is even worse.

- 6. I know this is hackneyed, but the Scots have a huge phobia of dentists, dental hygienists, and toothbrushes (tho toothpaste is in every bathroom). My god! These people have no teeth! And Caitlin, I hate to tell you this, but NONE of them speak like Sean Connery. Whoever stereotyped the Scottish accents as sexy was VERY VERY mistaken. Sean and Ewan are genetic freaks. Also, they don't say "lassie" to describe a female, its "wifey." Sweet.

- 7. Dirty jokes are the quickest way to bring a room together. It is insane how everyone has something to contribute once the first dirty or vulgar joke is told.

- 8. Tom Jones is the Welsh National treasure.

- 9. I hate to admit this, but I love haggis.

- 10. Puff, puff, give is not internationally recognized.

- 11. Marmite, Vegimite, and Bovril. Learn them, you will have to choose. Wars will be fought over these yeasty treats someday. You think I'm joking, just ask get an Aussie, a Zimbabwean, and a South African in a room and ask that question. (hmmm... I gave them all a fair shot last night... I have gotten to the point where I can open the jar without gagging.)

- 12. The rest of the world has missed out on some of the most important elements of our culture: The Kids in The Hall (ok, I know that isn't ours to claim), old SNL, Iron Chef (hey, we dubbed it), Space Ghost, old Conan O'Brien (I will marry Andy Richter), The Dark Crystal, The Last Unicorn, Orgazmo, So I Married An Axe Murderer, and so much more! No wonder they all hate us so much! No one has yet explained our insanity to them. Don't worry, Michael Moore and I have begun to break em in. I have the Scots singing Brak's "Don't Touch Me."

Ok, must continue packing...

Over and out...

enlightenment cont

Well, I have officially been living in Scotland for 3 months now. I leave on Tuesday for London, then Paris, then back to London, then hopefully (please please please please) to Venice. If that doesn't work out, Sarah, I'm coming to Prague and then on to Moscow.

Also, I have cleaned my last Scottish toilet today! I have hung up my housekeeping dress. (I will spare you any more of those observations about how the rich of Britain can not seem to have bowel movements in the toilet, but on every piece of linen I have to wash.) Only 5 more shifts to go! Anyhoo, for those of you who might not remember, my previous observations are included at the end...

...here's some more brain candy...

1. Childhood memories are the mean to bring around world peace - here Danger Mouse is the bond that brings us together. Come on! If Penfold, DM, Baron Von Greenback, and the occasional Banana Man skit doesn't bring us together, who will? Ok, maybe Super Grover and Guy Smiley, but those are my last hopes.

2. The residents of the UK are addicted to soap operas and campy gay men. If you follow either of those ideas, you will have a hit show. Ok, that or reality tv in ANY FORM. Believe me, I have got sucked into watching a show called the Salon. Yes, they film the daily ins and outs of a beauty salon, and I watch it. (remember those years when I stopped watching tv? I did it because I know I have a weakness for this crap!)

3. I have tried and failed to understand cricket, and I admit I am a lesser person for it.

4. Kiwis are the most patriotic people I have met. Don't insult them, their country, or their black and orange socks. They will try to bite. Worse yet, they jimmy open your door at night and "body slam" you. Don't say I didn't warn you.

5. I thought I feared crazed soccer fans, until I met rugby fans. Don't insult their team. I was kidding with that Irish guy I was dating earlier this year (a fan of the Irish Munster Rugby Team) that "I really admire Munster for it's brazen individuality, mainly in reference to its orange rind." He didn't find it a funny joke and I was purchased a plethora of Munster paraphernalia and forced to watch multiple games after that. They aren't violent, they are passive aggressive, and that is even worse.

6. I know this is hackneyed, but the Scots have a huge phobia of dentists, dental hygienists, and toothbrushes (tho toothpaste is in every bathroom). My god! These people have no teeth! And Caitlin, I hate to tell you this, but NONE of them speak like Sean Connery. Whoever stereotyped the Scottish accents as sexy was VERY VERY mistaken. Sean and Ewan are genetic freaks. Also, they don't say "lassie" to describe a female, its "wifey." sweet.

7. Dirty jokes are the quickest way to bring a room together. It is insane how everyone has something to contribute once the first dirty or vulgar joke is told.

8. Tom Jones is the Welsh National treasure.

9. I hate to admit this, but I love haggis.

10. Puff, puff, give is not internationally recognized.

11. Marmite, Vegemite, and Bovril. Learn them, you will have to choose. Wars will be fought over these yeasty treats someday. You think I'm joking, just ask get an Aussie, a Zimbabweain, and a South African in a room and ask that question. (hmmm... I gave them all a fair shot last night... I have gotten to the point where I can open the jar without gagging.)

12. The rest of the world has missed out on some of the most important elements of our culture: The Kids in The Hall (ok, I know that isn't ours to claim), old SNL, Iron Chef (hey, we dubbed it), Space Ghost, old Conan O'Brien (I will marry Andy Richter), The Dark Crystal, The Last Unicorn, Orgazmo, So I Married An Axe Murderer, and so much more! No wonder they all hate us so much! No one has yet explained our insanity to them. Don't worry, Michael Moore and I have begun to break em in. I have the Scots singing Brak's "Don't Touch Me."

Ok, must continue packing...

Over and out...
Annabelle

Update

Hello my loves,

‘Tis me, traveling wonder, in Glasgow. My parents have come to visit for the weekend, since mom was in Amsterdam for work anyway (oh yes, and our private jet is chauffeured by jeeves...hehehehhe) Anyway, having a wonderful time with the parents and loving being in a city. Having had my first case of cabin fever a few weeks ago and hiked as far as I could so that I could find people, a city is lovely :)

I have been enjoying Scotland, regardless of waking up every morning dreading putting on nylons, a kilt, a sweatshirt, and a bowtie and serving the people who think they can own me because they can afford a £25 dinner.

But I have meet some amazing guests, like a guy and his wife who were amazingly sweet, only to find out that he was one of the few brits to ever go through the FBI academy through UVA and Richard Li, who is a travel guide book writer, and a guy from Switzerland and his wife from China that gave me great hints how to boat around Asia for cheap. Those are the people I love chatting with. There have been many more lovely people too. I have had some wonderful conversations and have made some wonderful discoveries about the differences in cultures, especially now that war is pending.

As for the assholes I meet... if I get another smug prick who tells me, with a wink, some sick joke about what he wants to do with his tongue, I'm going to stab him in the thigh with a fork, ala The Slums of Beverly Hills. And as for the woman who will not look at me as she orders and blows her cigarette in my face as I clean her gin and “slim line” tonic away, but only to drool all over me when she finds out that I've lived in NYC, I would love to get my boys in the kitchen to make a delightful sauce to go with her fucking yapping charpei. hehehehe, you can tell I come up with these scenarios a great deal.

But really, hell, I do love it tho, mainly because I love learning about the different types of people. And the people I work with are amazing. I have learned so much about different cultures. Callum, my good buddy, is 29 and from New Zealand and was in the air force. He is marrying Eloise, 29, next week, who is from Capetown, South Africa, but the bad part of the city, where as Mandy, who's bridesmaid I am, comes from the liberal part of Capetown, where people are university educated and have less biases. She is marrying Pete from Zimbabwe, where I will be in December. Then there are Dave and Aioffe from Dublin, Stu (Stubee Stubee Doo) from Sydney, Dave from Australia, and Claire, Ronnie, and Sean from Scotland. I really have been so fortunate to meet these people. Also, Tania and Peter, from a very strict Affrikaans upbringing in South Africa, just left.

But after working with people all day, I don't want to see anyone or talk to anyone or even have to move. Hiking has been put to the wayside while I move my bed around to sit in the sunlight and stare out my window at the beautiful mountains and read and sleep the afternoons away pretending I am curled up on the beach, with the hum of my fan heater blowing on me causing a lovely white noise. My god, you would not believe how beautiful it is where I live. The streams and rivers, the snowcapped mountains, all around me. The wildlife at my front door - we have so many pheasants around - all aptly named George for some reason I have yet to understand. :)

Hmmm... I hope you get that even tho the job is shit and there are some crap days that leave me so knackered I want to cry, I do have a good time. (I now will never leave a hotel room a mess, housekeeping wreaks your body, I don't care how good of shape you are in!) I also have been meeting more locals down at the pub a little more than a mile away (the end of our driveway) and have been having a fantastic time with them. I really do love the characters I meet and Emm has a wonderful group of friends who I love meeting (Emm is my friend from Ireland who I was staying with, etc). There’s this guy... ok, I know I just got dumped but he's lovely... ok, I won't discuss him, don't want to be too presumptuous until we talk about me moving... hehehehehe His name is also Dave (yes, that makes 3 Daves here)

Anyway, 2 more weeks of Scotland for me. A woman I met in Slovenia who is a Kiwi asked I might want a job doing PR and paperwork for a hostel website in Venice, for crap pay but a free apartment in the center of the city. Well... off to Venice I think I go. I have to be there ASAP, but it is not all confirmed yet, we are trying to work out my work permit and such. I hope I didn't just jinx myself!! I really would love to get this job. It all sounds wonderful!

As for Mongolia, still in the works. If Venice doesn't work out - I am off to Paris, Prague, and Helsinki to see some friends and then off to St. Petersburg where I will start the journey. If Venice does work out, Mongolia will happen afterwards, or maybe I will save if for another time, as I need to get that ticket to Zimbabwe and I need to be back in the states on July 19th. :) Ooooohhh! And I need to think about that internship at the Guggenheim back in New York. hmmmm... I will admit, it is pretty exciting.

Well, I have windged and droned on about mundane things in my life for long enough (sorry, haven't had e-mail for about 2 weeks, been craving outside contact!!)

I miss you all and hope you are safe and well.